Growing within these walls

A nest of bacteria feeds;

It finds my thoughts and seeks

To swell them like giant balls.

They roll, roll, make themselves bigger:

Like fat piles of snow,

Until they finally explode.

Over these months, I have drunken,

Filled with too much of me.

There's no other world, but I,

And that's the reality.

While others do have the need

To let out their inner screams;

Mine are dull and unbidden,

So I'll keep them just to me.

In a world choked with fires,

I have come to learn,

The flame of a little lighter

Will nearly go unseen.

And I can't help but dread,

At the thread of uncertainty,

Which comes undone, stitches ripping,

And there, in a hole, I see…

How will I swim that torrent,

the waves of this enormous ocean,

If a glass of water is enough

To find myself drowning?

The waves are flat, though,

And for now, I just float,

As there’s nothing more to do:

To have my back to the water,

Close my eyes shut,

Slowly drift away…

and wait.